One of the flashpoints of Christmas conflict is the Christmas dinner table. This is where all the dispersed arguing in the kitchen, the smokers outdoors, upstairs preparing bedrooms, comes together over the food.
There are broadly two camps: peace and truth.
The Peace guests rely on suppression, avoidance, and distraction tactics. Desperately trying to avoid hurt, confrontation and possible family fracture. The peace guests control the conversation to the unpolitical and banal.
The Truth guests see this startegy as cowardly, and deceitful. What better platform to set up the day by being truthful, honest and having everything out. Guests can have a good fight then settle down purged of bitterness and anger to have a restful authentic day.
Neither seems to work as one strategy excludes the other. The idea is to focus on what brings you together to the table with a common aim. To pretend the family dynamics come together just at Christmas is unlikely. They are a window into what happens the rest of the year.
Is the Christmas the best time to look for a change?
Copyright Adrian Scott
North London Counsellor Blog 2021
All Rights Reserved
Disclaimer: This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only
This article is designed to provoke argument and critique