Romance, sex, love and fantasy are everywhere: In films, the media, books, TV, and magazines. Internet porn is regarded by some as the driving force behind the world wide web such is its popularity. But is it True Romance?
If we are to believe what is regularly beamed across the nation, romance and love are the answer to most of our problems. It is portrayed as a heightened experience. The participants are madly in love.
They are new to each other. There is a search for new love all around.
Couples up and down the UK are seeing sex therapists to try and understand what is going on with their sex lives. This selling of romance is opposite to the view of the sex therapist. The environment for sex is the opposite of what is portrayed in the media. It helps for the couple to be calm, connected, open, and emotionally responsive. The opposite of the heightened madness of couples in love in the media.
Sex can be an indication of what is going on in the rest of the relationship. The main issue is uncovering the unconscious fit of the couple. What brought them together? In many cases it is a copy or compensation of early relationships to parents. Having unavailable parents may attract an unavailable partner, or one that seems available but withdraws when demanded on. The unconscious fit is not simple, and totally unique to each couple.
So why has True Romance become so unreal from the way normal intimate relationships are conducted? Again perhaps it is the market place. Being in a heightened aroused state makes it easier for us to be sold products. Commercialism. Selling a dream. A life style. A love style.
Copyright Adrian Scott North London Counsellor Blog 2013
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Disclaimer: This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only.
This article is designed to provoke argument and critique.