Enquiring clients often want to test out the fit they are going to have with their potential therapist.   
The question is how much of a fit? To take the two extremes: the therapist who is exactly like you, agrees with everything you say. Has the same values, politics, worldout look as you. You get on. The other extreme is that you don’t like your therapist, don’t agree with their values, they disagree and challenge you. You don’t like the house/flat area decor that you have therapy in.

Therapists work in networks and refer clients to each other: with the ‘expertise’ of knowing what the client wants – covering for a reciprocal business recommendation.

Unfortunately and like all relationships we chose to satisfy our bias. Our choice of therapist out of awareness will be in the hope that we are comforted, held and listened to. That’s good – partly. But if the fit was less comfortable this would be more in line with the difficult painful parts of ourselves that motivate us far more: and we want to keep hidden.

The fuller therapies often involve conflict, a breach, which can be explored. Sometimes as a test, or provocation the breach demands more of the relationship from both sides. Trust is built from pain & adversity.

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