The Duchess, The Princess, and the Queen of Pop.
Meghan, Latifa, and Britney. Young women in stressful places, scrutinised by the media, and struggling against men. Meghan – her Father, Latifa – her Father, Britney – her Father.
Meghan’s Father keeps releasing his negative views to the press about his daughter. Latifa’s Father Dubai’s ruler Sheikh Al Maktoum is reported to have imprisoned her. Britney’s Father has managed her finances since 2008 due to her mental health.
Fathers and Daughters. Daughters and Fathers. Would this work in the same way with Sons? Success, and wealth sits easier on men. Somehow it is still in 2021 more acceptable for men to have power. However nasty they are with it. It is considered male.
As for women they cannot be seen as successful without taking on male traits. If you are a woman with power you have to be seen as a man. On top of this women are described as manipulative, bossy, hysterical when they have power.
The unconscious default is for men to have power not women. If women were accepted to have power how would men be men? Men have to differentiate from women. The little boy has to break from the mother, to associate with the Father. You might argue that single parent families and the fluidity of gender change this old fashioned perspective. Yet the repeat – the repetition compulsion still denies the acceptance of women having power.
Some men proclaim a disbelief in Patriarchy. A system of men having power over women. So bendy and subtle but pervasive. Patriarchy is everywhere so becomes and unnoticeable and at times encouraged by women approving of male power against other women.
These men dominated or frightened by early experiences with their mothers lead lives in a double bind. Somewhere they know that the power is with them. But deep early experiences with mothers scar them for life with a fear of women.
The mother doesn’t have to be violent or neglectful. Just frightened by the loss of a previous child, or a traumatic labour. The male infant is in a merged state with the mother. So the mother’s fear passes on. The male infant begins life merged to fear. So merged that the male infant cannot escape that fear for the rest of his life. To become a son fearful of women, but with the support of a system of men and power against women.
An opportunity for blame and revenge?
Copyright Adrian Scott
North London Counsellor Blog 2021
All Rights Reserved
Disclaimer: This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only
This article is designed to provoke argment and critique