42. Quiet Men

Is there a multitude of quiet men silencing their views on the alleged behaviour of Harvey Weinstein?
Is it because most men think that they have never behaved like that? That men they know wouldn’t speak about women as sex objects? That some men had genuinely feminist role models growing up as kids? That men’s girlfriend peer group insisted on respect and behaviour that included equality, and openness? That men would challenge other men who spoke about women in a derogatory way?
Quiet men. 

Perhaps men would all agree with the all the statements except challenging other men on their behaviour towards women. Like challenging racist behaviour it is very difficult to do. 

There is an argument that being part of a racist culture that if you are perceived to be privileged or mainstream in that culture you have to be racist. That if you have gained from the culture for no other reason then being part of that culture. The problem is that most white people would not think we lived in a racist country in the UK. In one belief the whole argument falls down. The same of sexism. In a patriarchy if you believe in patriarchy and benefit from it? Does that mean you are automatically sexist for benefiting from that patriarchy?

Humans including men have consistently abused their power to do or get what they want. It seems it is inevitable that power corrupts. It is part of human nature to suit yourself, and to try and have outcomes that get you what you want.

It is hard for men if they do feel that they are sexist to be vulnerable and open about it. Men are untrained in the art of feelings, and being at a disadvantage. To be unmanly leaves men without a reason for being a man.
And with no way talking or understanding the way out of this old age dilemma.
Quiet Men

Copyright Adrian Scott North London Counsellor Blog 2017
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Disclaimer: This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only
This article is designed to provoke argument and critique


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