and to continue ……. sitting in front of these lovely private school men is an exercise in an unequal duality. The smooth presentation dominates, an occasional glimpse of the boy behind comes through. Even though the boy is only glimpsed he is perceived as breaking down the smooth presentation. Fear of the boy breaking through initiates therapy to strengthen the smooth presentation.

The wish is for the therapy to maintain the norm. The norm being that the smooth presentation working efficiently, to the point where the private school man operates in similar systems like the City, Legal Professions, Sports clubs etc. When the presentation begins to break down (illustrated in the extreme film American Psycho) the private school man can be driven mad trying to maintain the presentation.

To be presented with the notion that the boy breaking through might be unstoppable is terrifying for the private school man. Sometimes they are not convinced. The smooth presentation remains, and he moves onto other treatmentshoping for a bolster of the smooth presentation.

At the start male discussions around concepts, ideas, knowledge, of different thinkers, approaches, philosophies are discussed. Then narratives around life events, family, partners, then childhood with a sprinkling of feelings emerge.
Long hard dull boring repetitive work. No answers, solutions, actions or behaviours. But a slow noticing of the child behind: leading to a slow reveal where the child can sit alongside the smooth presentation joining up a whole person. Where all parts have legitimacy, and influence. The Magic.

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