Porn Boys
Psychologist Philip Zimbardo reckons we are breeding a generation of young men who will be unable to socialise or fully contribute to society. Addicted to porn and gaming they resort to an online world of security and comfort which is safe & predictable. Boys can dominate the online world with impunity, which gives little back to them.
Fatherless families contribute to boys and their reliance on the online world. Fathers when they are around give love and attention on their son’s performance: not who they are. To be the warrior and breadwinner are what they are expected to be. Men are told what they should not do: but there is little guidance on what to do. Families sit down together less to eat and discuss what has happened in the day.

There are few role models for men who have not been tainted by vice or scandal. Footballers, Musicians, Film Stars  live in the gold fish bowl of fame intensely scrutinised by the media waiting for them to screw up.

In the secular world of the 21st Century rituals have been replaced with screen events. The passage from boyhood to manhood remains unnoticed and uninitiated. There are no elders to consult in our society: only older people who moan and groan! Is this another lost generation traumatised from the experience of war? The lost older generation creates another lost generation of the future.

Porn encourages a very mono view of sex and relationships. There is no romance or enquiry in porn. It is men with large penises instantly gratifying women. This is the NORM in porn. There is no idea that porn is edited to the point of creating a fantasy over a reality. Scarily boys use porn as a break from games! Boys have been trained up and become accustomed (as we all have) to accept a TV reality. This reality is then applied to real life increasing the chance of rejection and inexperience relating to real people in real life. For example Hollywood encourages the girl  not fall in love with the guy unless he achieves something heroic.
Porn Boys

Young men online never learn to communicate: particularly with women. They cannot practice eye contact, personal space, or the art of handling rejection from women. Instead of asking “Would you like to dance?”  and setting up 50% possibility of rejection you might ask: “do you feel like a dance?” If the person says no then you can say you don’t feel like it too!
Zimbardo pointed out that to be shy is the norm! And it takes practice and faith in yourself to work at not being so shy.
Porn Boys

Video games are centred on male orientated values around heroes, villains and violence. The outcomes are challenging, need skills, but are clear and simplistic. These boys choose the screen over people. And why not. It is freely accessible, instantly gratifying and anonymous.
Porn Boys

Is this all too much? Too exaggerated? Perhaps it is the feeling that the Western World is sleep walking into a self destructive age of youngsters unable to be in the real world? Like all wake up calls there has to be an element of drama to attract attention. There are many young men able to act in the world with pride and self-confidence! But it still does not make the problem disappear!
Porn Boys

Copyright Adrian Scott North London Counsellor Blog 2015
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This article is designed to provoke argument and critique.