A man goes to a club alone for the evening. While there his drink is spiked and he is taken home by a stranger and raped. In the morning he is made breakfast and dropped off at the local train station.
Does this shock you? If so why?
Could it be the mindset of the perpetrator? This man must have been targeted and stalked with clear intention and purpose by the perpetrator. The perpetrator feels confident enough to take the victim home knowing that he will be able to do whatever he wants to do with the man with no punishment.
Is he relying on the perceived vague distinction between consensual and non consensual sex?
Is the victim so compliant that he cannot complain? Is he is scared of the perpetrator that he feels unable to do anything. If he does want to to go to the Police does he think he is going to be believed?
Many survivors of sexual abuse keep the secret for many years. They are distrustful of others, and find it difficult to make healthy sustainable relationships. They can find themselves at the mercy of strong feelings of rage and impotence using sex, drugs and alcohol to manage these strong emotions.Their ambivalence in seeking help is strong, realising in some way that the psychological wound runs deep with intensity and complexity.
Trauma is traumatic, and the psyche uses many ways to protect itself form that trauma. It bundles and packages it up in a disguise and buries it deep where it cannot be easily reached. It takes a courageous person to look at themselves and to try and understand the trauma they have experienced.
The above scenario has been anonymised to protect confidentiality.
Copyright Adrian Scott North London Counsellor Blog 2014
All rights reserved
Disclaimer: This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only.
This article is designed to provoke argument and critique.