52. Paul Williams

Paul Williams died on the streets of Birmingham, UK.
He was homeless.
Homelessness is often the expression of trauma and unresolved grief acted out in a destructive way. 
Paul’s parents divorced when he was in his early teens. A vulnerable age for a boy coming to be a man: to have his home environment split into pieces. Supported and loved by family who could not keep supporting a life style spinning out of control.
When the source of love and succour betrays with a fracture in the parental relationship, the love becomes love and pain at the same time. Ambivalence sets in.

Paul managed to get off the drink, worked but again returned to excessive drinking.
Though Paul would do “anything for anyone,” the one person he seemed unable to help was himself. The trauma was unresolved for Paul. With no way, or opportunity to work with the trauma its grip maintained a control of extreme pain numbing and sabotage.
Returning to the streets is an environment which is so brutal that it has to be extreme numbed against. Extreme numbing without recognising that it is the extreme feelings that have to be numbed, not the environment. Living in a building affords comfort and a private space where thinking cannot not be held back. So best to return to the streets where the extreme numbing can resume.

There are services for homeless people to access in Birmingham. The problem is that accessing them requires a level of readiness and awareness that cannot be created.
Our thoughts are with Paul’s family at this traumatic time.
Paul Williams

Copyright Adrian Scott North London Counsellor Blog 2017
All rights reserved
Disclaimer: This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only
This article is designed to provoke argument and critique


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