Mike Muggy Thalassitis died in an Edmonton Park close to his home. He had hung himself.
A footballer and reality TV star: he was seens as a ladies man. “The classic lad who didn’t have feelings”. Struggling with bereavement and the pressure of 15 minutes of fame.
Nobody will really know what was happening for him.
Again the old stereotype of man pervades. Men do not have feelings. When under stress men have to be men. Cope on their own. No help. No backup. No support.
The world moving forward desperately needs a new version of men. Men who are skilled at talking. Expressing themselves. Expressing thier feelings.
This will take a while. As it starts with Fathers and Mothers. Grand Parents and Families. Men will only become skilled at the art of speaking, when listened to and appreciated for thier feelings as little boys.
In the meantime we can ony be aware. Aware that men are alone. Aware and imagining of mens’ distress. Aware of the clues. Troubled moods, withdrawal, upset. And ask with curiousity and care.
Reared by Fathers unable to express themselves. The unskilled emotional man flows down the generations.
Copyright Adrian Scott North London Counsellor Blog 2019
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This article is designed to provoke argument and critique