Litima is a Ugandan word for an overwhelming anger that compels an action of grabbing or taking. The idea is that this adolescent sexual male energy needs redirecting away from bad behaviours towards women. It is useful to have older men role models around who can remember those urges and how to contain them.
The tribe recognises this indistinguishable sexual force to be so powerful that uncontained it “would burn the village down”. Young men and older men must learn to curb their impulse to like, want, & grab.
Yet in this modern world man feels lost. The Male Machismo Man is dying out. And so is the tolerance of him. So what to replace him with? Passive aggression as opposed to aggression is one way but is equally harmful and hurtful. Stonewalling can be seen as a form of violence.
To have Fathers and other men present who are movable, open to vulnerability, and able to contain strong feelings are rare. So the man lives a life where other men are closed and helpless around strong emotions. So men grow up defensive and attacking.
Men have relationships with women that fail. Men are not taught fluency in feelings or relationships so want to dominate. Women have the sex, and man doesn’t so he has to get it from her, and feels empty until he has it.
To teach men to relate to thier feelings and other mens’ feelings is a challenge to create a New Masculinity.
Copyright Adrian Scott North London Counsellor Blog 2019
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Disclaimer: This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only
This article is designed to provoke argument and critique