13. Life of Shame

This article describes a life of shame from a daily dread of anxiety and fear. Not happy reading.
Commonly many come to therapy to be changed, fixed, resolved. The idea to wrestle with is that we are created, have experiences and are landed with ourselves. The attrition of relating to others is to be resisted. We defend to protect ourselves, our perceived weaknesses, and vulnerabilities.

Our families shape us. We are motivated by what we are not aware of. Finding ourselves through the labyrinth of our minds is resisted at every step.

Into the therapy the clients go through a transition of depression. The hopelessness around being unable to change hits. We arrive at adulthood and are presented with a contract for life which we see we have signed with our signature. We know we didn’t sign it, didn’t agree to it: but there it is. We didn’t ask to be born.

Market economies give us demographic ages to sell us products and services. The reality is that we are a person in our teens & twenties who lives added years of experience. We don’t significantly change. We don’t become wiser.  If we are clever – and we generally aren’t  – we learn to manage ourselves and give up to the personalities that we are given.

Something of a success might be that we can use our talents to give us a life, while accepting and accomodating our less than parts of ourselves. A learning that the person we are given is good enough.
Surrounded by others who are aiming to change.

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