15. Idiot Compassion

The difference between wise compassion and idiot compassion is that idiot compassion is easier.
There is no risk of confrontation, anger or hurt.
Idiot Compassion backs up other peoples’ neurosis under the guise of you being nice or good.
People might need to be given a hard time, but it is seen as impolite or rude. Being wise compassionate in a culture of manners is challenging.
Keep the peace, don’t rock the boat, be quiet.
Idiot Compassion 

To practice wise compassion demands intelligence and courage. Causing harm and pain is not the same thing. Causing harm is long term while the immediate pain prevents confrontation and the long term harm continues.
Whether what you say is true or not depends on its benefit, and if it is pleasing to others or not. The major point is that whether it is pleasing or not pleasing is irrelevant. This is not part of the decision of whether to say or not!
In other words how the truth will be received is not part of the decision as to whether it can be said!

Bhuddists see idiot compassion as enabling. Or giving people what they want because you cannot bear to see them suffering. In this way you are giving people what they want, but really you’re doing it for yourself. So you can remain as being seen as nice. The person will not thank you for wise compassion. They maybe upset and threaten the relationship. But the intention is to avoid long term harm. Even though it might cause short term pain.
Good Luck with Your Wise Compassion

Idiot Compassion

 

Copyright Adrian Scott North London Counsellor Blog 2018
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Disclaimer: This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only
This article is designed to provoke argument and critique

 



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