26. Housing Loss

Apparently there are enough empty houses in the UK to satisfy the population without building anymore.
Many houses are empty because families cannot let go of them. They have sentimental value. They were brought up there, or thier mother died there etc.

It’s about Loss again. We all struggle with it. We have little help in a culture obsessed with youth, progress, & busyness. Yet how we cope with loss has a major impact on the quality of our lives. We can be stuck: unable to let go. Going round and around. Some actively keep the loss alive to try & keep its memory vivid and sharp.

According to social media objects are valueless and it’s relationships that hold meaning. It is more complicated.
As in the empty house example things or objects are symbolic. It might be obvious to some: but unknown to others. We hold onto people and relationships, dead or alive. More obvious for the dead relationships. But we keep symbolically present relationships worn by the reality of existence, by dreaming they are better relationships through objects. The money, heirlooms, jewellry, stocks, create the illusion of comfort & safety. The area we live in, the school we went to. The fanciful dreaming of what might have been, or could be.

In childhood we use objects to transition through difficult phases of development. And in adulthood. Cars, watches, same walks, & shops keep us in minor rituals so that we can be rooted/pegged to a life that has some meaning.
Perhaps like pets ….

Copyright Adrian Scott North London Counsellor Blog 2024
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