If you are lucky enough to go to a place which you never visited before: you will notice that you have to relearn the basics of everyday life. You have to take a new journey maybe by plane: then find yourself a taxi, train, bus, or walk to your accommodation. You will have to find the new room, get in, find out which switches switch on which lights. How to operate the temperature and flow of the water. Find your way down to breakfast etc etc etc

Sometimes this can be enjoyable or stressful depending on your character and the circumstances you find yourself in. Your ability to tolerate the unknown, fail, be penalised with a fine, or even injured reflects the risks you are prepared to endure for the fun of a break from known routines.  At home you don’t have to do any of this. All the details of your life you know all the minute details of your life & surroundings.

To see ourselves anew is difficult. We become familiar with what we want to see and how to see it. We create a self perception of ourselves which we find acceptable – tolerable to live our lives in a way to survive. This varies day to day as we lean between self love & loathing. This self perception is biased and subject to our hurts & happiness so might not be so accurate. Cultural and social forces also shape our self perception. As do others who view as they want to see us. Try changing your role in a friendship group, you will be resisted.

Who do you show yourself to? The world – what perceptions do you want to receive back? Nobody – you protect yourselves from the pain of others perceptions? Most of us are in between these two extremes. As we can appreciate we get on the plane to new place, but we have to take our old self with us.

But to see ourselves in a fresh light is frightening. We might have to update our self perception to include parts of ourselves we don’t like. Or resign ourselves to our wrong doings, and vulnerabilities.
Will our shadow ever totally know or reveal ourselves to ourselves?

Copyright Adrian Scott North London Counsellor Blog 2023
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Disclaimer: This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only.
This article is designed to provoke argument and critique