11. Giving Feedback or Not!

Giving Feedback or Not!
This week I have noticed ‘giving feedback’
The world of work demands the giving and receiving feedback. Line managers appraise their staff, and then as part of the appraisal, managers ask staff for feedback on their own management style.

But how much feedback is really given in the work place? Would people rather complain and do nothing? Exit interviews are an opportunity for employees to give feedback. The employees’ references have been sent,and a confirmation of a start date for their new job has been received.
This is the ideal place where even the most timid staff member can give feedback to another senior manager about their experience at work without any recourse.
But is it?
Giving Feedback or Not!

This reluctance to not give feedback can come from families. Family cultures can be set up by parents to ensure that children do not speak.
Successful, highly intelligent adults are educated and trained not to speak directly to their parents: even when the parents’ behaviour is unacceptable or has a negative impact.
This can be motivated by an insecurity in parents on their parenting skills, not handling traumatic family events well, or simply not wanting to be challenged.
The family culture becomes based over years of at best educating and training or at worst manipulating and brainwashing their children.
The culture is based on the parents’ views of events, where they feel safe, and unchallenged. A culture based on the childrens’ feelings and experiences is threatening and not controllable.
Other views which might be challenging or critical to the parent are not allowed.
The most powerful trait of family culture is its invisibility. It is so familiar to the children that it is hard to identify. A family culture where children are not allowed to speak,
carries on into the relationships that children make as adults. It is becomes normal.

Breaking the pattern of not speaking can be an uncomfortable, but rewarding experience.
Giving Feedback or Not!

Copyright Adrian Scott North London Counsellor Blog 2012
All rights reserved.
Disclaimer: This weblog content are the views of the writer, and for general information only.

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