129 people died in Paris. These people were innocent enjoying a night out in bar, restaurant, and a rock concert.
What a tragedy for their families and friends. Being a parent and losing a child is unimaginable.
But some how these innocent people were perceived to symbolise or represent something beyond their control. They didn’t ask for this: this was given to them by the perception of another.
This begins early. Depending on the circumstances of the baby’s birth the parents already have a perception of their offspring that has nothing to do with the child. She might be an accident, planned, a replacement, or born near a family death. These events will shape the family perception of the baby. This gives the birth a status and value connected to a narrative and history.
In a healthy environment the child grows up able to influence the perception of those close to them. They can contradict and challenge the perceptions of them by others. These challenges are accepted and constantly redrawn in response to information and responses given by the growing person.
In a less healthy environment these perceptions are fixed and rigid. Nothing changes them.
We never escape the rigid misconceptions of others about ourselves. We either don’t accept others’ perceptions or have to tolerate them. So to some we are representatives of governments we have not voted for, and whose foreign policies we don’t agree with. In this perception innocent is guilty.
Copyright Adrian Scott North London Counsellor Blog 2015
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Disclaimer: This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only.
This article is designed to provoke argument and critique