We all need emotional connection to someone or somebody in our lives. Some people choose partners, friends, family, hobbies, pets, or even inanimate objects like cars, works of art, or anything that triggers a strong feeling.

How we make this depends on the role models of emotional connection we have
witnessed early in our lives, shaping our resistance to starting an emotional connection.
If emotional connections cause us pain then we adapt: we make connections that don’t connect, avoid connections or connect inappropriately.

This takes time, patience and energy. You can debate whether humans are altruistic but we usually give to receive. We have to get something out of it. Love, recognition, value, need, are some of the strong motivators to create an emotional connection. It gives us comfort and warmth in our lives or can drive us mad.

Some emotional connections can be bad for us. They can be addictive, co-dependent, unavailable, or abusive. They can also be dangerous. Making an emotional connection to a friend can be construed as a an act of love when it isn’t intended. The problem with an emotional connection is that it can be whatever you want it to be: but might not be taken by the other in the same way.

Copyright Adrian Scott North London Counsellor Blog 2015
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This article is designed to provoke argument and critique