Disassociation – the feeling of being detached from yourself. A feeling of unreality where you sense you are an observer of yourself and your life. A numbness where the day passes in a haze. You know it. But at the same time you can’t do anything about it. Like a fog where you can see but not very far ahead.
The mind is protective. It shuts down to try and process the information which it finds difficult to experience. Like a fright, or hurt or trauma. If you experience fright in early life this can stay with you for the rest of your life. It becomes a store of disassociation energy which gets reactivated in times of difficulty or stress.
There are practical things you can do. When you feel disassociated look around you. Name the objects that see you. Ground yourself in a physical reality. Feel what you feel. Even if it is numbness. Accept the feeling. The mind is doing its job. Let it do it.
You can identify the triggers that put you in a disassociated state. Is it about meeting with your boss? Your parents? Bumping into an ex. Or being abused, emotionally, physically, sexually?
The mental state of the primary care giver is crucial to the early life of the baby. This time can be the start of the forming of disassociation. If the early bond is anxious, frightening or broken. The baby’s mind has to disassociate to try work out the environment and survive. It is a natural but alarming state to experience.
Copyright Adrian Scott
North London Counsellor Blog 2020
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Disclaimer: This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only
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