The biggest news story this week is the comment about muslim women wearing burqas.
It was a provocative statement. Like all provocation it has polarised debate.
Should it be said? Or should it not? Or is it morally empty?
Letterbox. 

On the one hand for the liberal agenda it is a debate about casual racism, facism and moral emptiness. If people are allowed to be their base selves what will happen. Anarchy? Is this just a populist political ploy?

Violence against Muslim women is reported to have increased over the last week.

On the other hand a more conservative debate about a decline in British values, a sense of being invaded by others’ customs and religions. If things are allowed to continue then the UK will cease to be the country it was/is. And how people in it recognise the country.

The one thing that remains consistent: if people are not allowed to express their views. The views will come out bigger and stronger. It is Brexit again. The Liberal elite calling leavers racist stifled and repressed the debate.
So the opposite reaction came out.

Like all repressions. They lie in wait gaining power and energy. Only to pop out. Appropriately or inappropriately repression doesnt care. It will out.
Letterbox

 

Copyright Adrian Scott North London Counsellor Blog 2018
All rights reserved
Disclaimer: This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only
This article is designed to provoke argument and critique

Buyer’s Remorse is a difficult feeling after a purchase.
The approach motivational system overwhelms you at the point of buying. You think how much you would like to own one.
Then once you have made the purchase in come the avoidance concerns. Do I have enough money? Do I need another one? Is this purchase really worth it?

It doesn’t have to be about a purchase. Any decision that is made that might cause regret can have an element of buyer’s remorse. This can be seen in the Brexit vote or the election of Trump. If voters were allowed to have a public space to express regret. Things might change? Perhaps some might say this is wishful thinking.

And again it seems Buyer’s remorse says more about the buyer. When you might feel buyer’s remorse is about how you are conditioned about money and value. Brought up by a war baby? Your food on the table as children might have been monitored. Giving you the idea that frugality is good. Values around money are emotional. 

 

Copyright Adrian Scott North London Counsellor Blog 2018
All rights reserved
Disclaimer: This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only
This article is designed to provoke argument and critique

 

A tv advert trying to sell you a car.
The advert starts with a woman on a series of dates. The men appear stupid and unsuitable. She goons at the camera with the look of what a waste a time all this is. Next shot is of the woman in a car franchise. She looks very happy. She walks upto the car of her choice. A male salesman hands her the keys to the car.
It is challenging to find a suitable man? But not a suitable car? Mens Place.

The message is complicated. The woman dislikes men but not cars? Where is the woman sales person to hand her the keys? Is this advert created by men or women? Is it men being self mocking? Or women saying move over for a car? Womens power?

In this time of mystery and change: Men feel that their place in the world is threatened. The media reflects this. Women can do without men. Men are falling behind. They are still playing by the old rules. Cars are preferable. The woman has her own money to pay for the car now.

Is patriarchy being undermined? Or made to seem like it? A story to convince women they can do without men? Or men playing a clever trick to sell cars: made and sold by men?
Mens Place.

Copyright Adrian Scott North London Counsellor Blog 2018
All rights reserved
Disclaimer: This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only
This article is designed to provoke argument and critique

 

Big data is all around.
The digital world records our every move. Not just once, but many times creating pictures and footprints of our lives. It can predict our consumption and lifestyle. The nearest old example is the census.This is big data: a population of people contributing to predicting habits and trends.

But it cannot compete with the millions of pieces of collected digital data every day.
Data sets, groups of data. The range of data is incredible.
We are all just beginning to wake up to the fact that we have no control over its collection.

For example a US superstore tracked what its customers were buying through its store card. The company tried to predict when its customers were pregnant. Stopping buying alcohol? Buying odour free body soap? The company set up a pregnancy predictor, and sent out relevant vouchers to the predicted customers.

In 2012 a father of a teenage daughter complained to the company that they were sending his daughter these vouchers. He felt they were accusing his daughter of being preganant when she wasn’t.  The company apologised and made a follow up call to apologise further. The Father had had an opportunity to speak to his daughter and she was actually pregnant.
She had been found out.
Big Data.

 

Copyright Adrian Scott North London Counsellor Blog 2018
All rights reserved
Disclaimer: This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only
This article is designed to provoke argument and critique

 

Death Cafe is an idea from Nigeria. It seems very obvious. A group of people meet together to talk about the topic of death. The point is to think about death to enhance the value of life. Not in a hedonistic way. Not in a religious way. Just to think and speak. To confront the idea of your own death is challenging and not really encouraged by western youth cultures.

A good death is what we all want. But what is it? To die in sleep? Or drop dead during a favourite activity? Is this to defend and protect ourselves against a long lingering death of senility and suffering?

Our culture would have us think differently but the thoughts of death do not have to be about age. Children think about death from an early age. Why would this be so? They have so  long to live? Of course anyone thinks about death if they have experienced bereavement. But children can spontaneously obssess about death with no particular reason. Growing into an age of imagination it is not difficult to wonder what endings are or how life might end.

Death is all around. To quote the Bhuddist: “Life is uncertain; Death is certain.”

Copyright Adrian Scott North London Counsellor Blog 2018
All rights reserved
Disclaimer: This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only
This article is designed to provoke argument and critique

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

IN LOVING MEMORY
ADRIAN O’SULLIVAN
MOYCULLEN
CO. GALWAY
CLAIMED BY THE SEA
ON 18TH FEBRUARY 1996
AGED 23YRS OLD

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright Adrian Scott North London Counsellor Blog 2018
All rights reserved
Disclaimer: This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only
This article is designed to provoke argument and critique

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

IN LOVING MEMORY
O’SULLIVAN
MOYCULLEN
CO. GALWAY
CLAIMED BY THE SEA
ON 18TH FEBRUARY 1996
AGED 23YRS OLD

 

 

 

IN LOVING MEMORY
O’SULLIVAN
MOYCULLEN
CO. GALWAY
CLAIMED BY THE SEA
ON 18TH FEBRUARY 1996
AGED 23YRS OLD

 

 

 

 

IN LOVING MEMORY
O’SULLIVAN
MOYCULLEN
CO. GALWAY
CLAIMED BY THE SEA
ON 18TH FEBRUARY 1996
AGED 23YRS OLD

 

 

IN LOVING MEMORY
O’SULLIVAN
MOYCULLEN
CO. GALWAY
CLAIMED BY THE SEA
ON 18TH FEBRUARY 1996
AGED 23YRS OLD

 

 

IN LOVING MEMORY
O’SULLIVAN
MOYCULLEN
CO. GALWAY
CLAIMED BY THE SEA
ON 18TH FEBRUARY 1996
AGED 23YRS OLD

 

 

Are you clubbable? Do you like spending time with groups of people? Do you like being identified as being part of a club by wearing the kit and colours? Do you give time to the club by giving tuition, coaching, or being a committee member?

Do you enjoy spending time with people who you share an activity with, but not necessarily much personally? Or perhaps you have friends at your club or have even met your partner at your club?
Do you feel you are missing out when you are not at the club? Do you go as far as being a FOMO? 

Do you look forward to social events at your club: where the activity is not part of the celebrations? Do you have a group of people there you know well and tolerate others that you do not know? Do you like hearing the minutiae of the workings of the club? Who said what to who? Who left the gate open last night? The kit was not what was ordered. Or a team not taking their turn on the cleaning rota?  

Is clubbable the same as being socialable? 

Or are you unclubbable? You do not have any wish to be part of a club. Simple.
Or are you somewhere inbetween?

Are you unclubbable but want to be part of the club for the sake of your team? Or the love of the club activity? Do large groups of people intimidate you? Do you find others interactions not interesting or petty? Do you find it difficult when people on the next machine do not acknowledge your presence? Do you feel ambivalent about club social events? Are you afraid of being excluded by cliques?

Whether you are extrovert, introvert, shy, gregarious it seems we all need clubs. And the multitude of ways that people interact with them. As for night clubs the millennials ……

Copyright Adrian Scott North London Counsellor Blog 2018
All rights reserved
Disclaimer: This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only
This article is designed to provoke argument and critique

The Mullet hairstyle is back apparently. The 1980’s footballer look has returned! It’s resilience as a haircut going  back in time to ancient civilizations. It keeps the neck warm and snug in winter and stops it burning in the summer. It is now finding its way back onto the catwalk. Pop stars are now seen sporting this “new” trendy look!

Mulletfest took place in Australia for the first time this year. The town of Kurri Kurri was adorned with a crowd of mullet wearing aficianadoes.

The significance of hair is timeless. The tale of Samson and Delilah. Samson with his long hair denoting strength. Then when it was cut – weakness. The lion and its mane being the King of the Jungle. The Tale of Rapunzel and the rope of hair to attract a mate. The power of hair is endless. It makes us look young and old depending on the onlooker. A Theory of Hair? The ritual of combing, brushing and braiding of hair. The time at the end of the day before going to bed. Boys have short hair, girls have long. Is hair one of the first signs of sexuality?
Unkempt hair is a sign of unhappiness or a chaotic lifetsyle, or rebellion?
Mullet

 

Copyright Adrian Scott North London Counsellor Blog 2018
All rights reserved
Disclaimer: This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only
This article is designed to provoke argument and critique

Alexander McQueen was a fashion designer. Brought up in the East End, the youngest of six he conquered the world of fashion on his own terms. McQueen was a tortured soul, abused as a child he created women in his costumes to be scarey, to protect against men.

The documentary film gives the impression of a sweet man who was a whirlwind of talent, but eventually the whirlwind turned on him and he became very unhappy. He starts with being driven to succeed. This drive never leaves him. He became successful working for Givenchy and his own fashion house. So the pressure became unbearable.
Was it drive and ambition that consumed him? Like successful driven people the drive has a life of its own. The side event is the success, along with fame and fortune. The problem is what to do with the drive once the success is achieved. The drive remains intact immune to the success.

Freud’s drive theory was the idea that an imbalance is detected by the psyche and creates a drive to correct the imbalance. So if the imbalance is not addressed the drive remains intact. We all have this to some extent. Driven to succeed at work or play. It shapes our lives.

Conveniently today success usually means the filling of space. Time is money. No Time. This creates an environment where there is no time to correct the imbalance. So the drive pushes on. Filling up time. Creating pressure. More pressure. Until ……

Copyright Adrian Scott North London Counsellor Blog 2018
All rights reserved
Disclaimer: This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only
This article is designed to provoke argument and critique