Adrian Scott Counsellor Supervisor MBACP Accred

We all have a Transference Village. Some of these Villages are nice others not so nice. There might be a wide variation of characters in them, happy, sad, cruel, frightened, or frightening. But what they all have in common is that they all feel familiar and safe to us.
In our daily lives we come across these characters. We are drawn to them through their familiarity. Most of us do not recognise them until we see with openess the repetitive characters and stories that play out in our lives.

Typically we walk into Transference Village traps: we find ourselves unknowingly drawn into a familiar scenarios, with familiar people, and then be frightened by the definition of safety our Transference Village has.

These Transference Villages were born in our minds in our early preverbal life. Depending on how that went determines the characters and environment of the village. If we have a traumatic start to life which many of us do: the village is more problematic. But the transference doesn’t care. However dark the village characters & environment is – we feel it is familiar and safe.

So if we have an unsafe Transference Village which feels familiar and safe: this can lead to a stressful life. Being open to what is familiar might give us a clue of how the past from the Transfence Village plays out in the present.

Copyright Adrian Scott North London Counsellor Blog 2023
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This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only.
This article is designed to provoke argument and critique

If you dislike parties does this mean that you are not a sociable person?

It depends what you are looking for and what you think you can get out of it?   
Parties are generally alcohol fuelled meetings of people coming together who generally don’t know each other. It is an event to meet people, make connections, or get drunk.
The suggestion in the link is that socialable people don’t go to parties because they cannot find true social connections. It is meant to be a happy time to make people laugh and feel comfortable.

Anything less than happy like expressing a hurt or vulnerability is seen as not being party behaviour. So perhaps if you dislike parties it means that you are too ambitious to think that any connection can be made: so stay in bed. Or even that you might be more sociable than you actually think you are.

Copyright Adrian Scott North London Counsellor Blog 2023
All rights reserved Disclaimer:
This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only.
This article is designed to provoke argument and critique

When a Prime Minister interviews a Billionaire it says something. The interviewer in the main is less important than the guest who everyone wants to see and hear. The interviewer might have status or celebrity but not without the pulling power of getting “A List” guests on their show.

What it might say is that Billionaires have as much or more influence than Governments. Particularly when the billionaires own multi media corporations (rather than iron ore companies) influencing populations and outcomes of elections. This used to be newspaper barons. But since the birth of social media this has turned into a far more pervasive influence on the world population.

Maybe it has always been like this. The KIng and the Barons trying for influence over each other while populations look on powerless. What has happened over the last 20 years is that the lid has blown off what lies beneath. With a bit of detective work there is a lot of information out there drawing back the curtain to reveal the puppet masters.

This reveal creates anxiety, confusion, and anger. It shifts opinion, redresses influences altering long term commitments. Knowledge is power. But it creates uncertainty, instability to the present, which relied on secrecy and deflection for power. Are we in a time of not only change (always!) but a change of status quo?
The times they are a changing. Good? but chaotic and painful.

Copyright Adrian Scott North London Counsellor Blog 2023
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This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only.
This article is designed to provoke argument and critique

A Sycamore Tree

Random acts of violence frighten and unerve us. We witness something – an act, a behaviour, which makes no sense. So we get a double fear, the act, and the inability to make sense or put the act into order.
But it is rarely so. Whatever we do – has a history, a past of collected energy that bursts out onto the present. At base deep in our psyche we nurse hurts. Hurts that are so painful that they cannot be looked at. These hurts collect energy which most of the time we cannot control. When triggered or set off the energy bursts out – looking for an escape or diffusion onto a random act or behaviour.

We can feel hurt by someone and lash out angrily at them. We can see that the hurt and the anger have some connection. We might not understand it: others will disagree, or condemn us. But we can make a link.

It is the taboo hurts where we have screwed up: but cannot admit it to ourselves & never to others. These hidden hurts are stored up with hot energy inside us. When we experience an injustice or crisis we have this excess energy  to burn. We look for a related/unrelated object to hurt with our stored up hurt energy. Out comes the violent act ….

Men are more susceptible to this behaviour. With a masculine physicality – and not taught or regarded emotionally there is no education for identifying or feeling hurt. They are not taught to feel vulnerable, angry, & upset. They are unable to let off this energy bit by bit: so when they are triggered it comes out untreated & untamed.

Men can look at their hurt energy in a calm reflective way: to cool down by attaching themelves to hurt feelings. But they have to be encouraged, and offered safe places to do so. Not yet  – but soon……..??

Copyright Adrian Scott North London Counsellor Blog 2023
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This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only.
This article is designed to provoke argument and critique

Ann Lowe calm, delicate, gentle, quiet. Dress Designer to the stars.
Brought up in Alabama her grand mother born into slavery was a seamstress until she was freed in 1860.

Ann was segregated while training but her work was used to show other students an example of highly skilled work. In the early days her name was not on the dress label. She was determined that she be recognised in her own right. She lost an eye to gluacoma: but still continued to work.

She worked for love: and her patrons were not kind to her. Though one did pay her taxes on bankruptcy. She retired in 1972, and died in New York in 1981.

Copyright Adrian Scott North London Counsellor Blog 2023
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This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only.
This article is designed to provoke argument and critique

If you are lucky enough to go to a place which you never visited before: you will notice that you have to relearn the basics of everyday life. You have to take a new journey maybe by plane: then find yourself a taxi, train, bus, or walk to your accommodation. You will have to find the new room, get in, find out which switches switch on which lights. How to operate the temperature and flow of the water. Find your way down to breakfast etc etc etc

Sometimes this can be enjoyable or stressful depending on your character and the circumstances you find yourself in. Your ability to tolerate the unknown, fail, be penalised with a fine, or even injured reflects the risks you are prepared to endure for the fun of a break from known routines.  At home you don’t have to do any of this. All the details of your life you know all the minute details of your life & surroundings.

To see ourselves anew is difficult. We become familiar with what we want to see and how to see it. We create a self perception of ourselves which we find acceptable – tolerable to live our lives in a way to survive. This varies day to day as we lean between self love & loathing. This self perception is biased and subject to our hurts & happiness so might not be so accurate. Cultural and social forces also shape our self perception. As do others who view as they want to see us. Try changing your role in a friendship group, you will be resisted.

Who do you show yourself to? The world – what perceptions do you want to receive back? Nobody – you protect yourselves from the pain of others perceptions? Most of us are in between these two extremes. As we can appreciate we get on the plane to new place, but we have to take our old self with us.

But to see ourselves in a fresh light is frightening. We might have to update our self perception to include parts of ourselves we don’t like. Or resign ourselves to our wrong doings, and vulnerabilities.
Will our shadow ever totally know or reveal ourselves to ourselves?

Copyright Adrian Scott North London Counsellor Blog 2023
All rights reserved
Disclaimer: This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only.
This article is designed to provoke argument and critique

Copperopolis Swansea was the centre of copper production and in its 19th Century zenith it produced most of the copper in the world.
In the next few years the site will be redeveloped with a renovation of the works. The site is metres higher than it was at the start telling in layers of soil the development of the industry through the years.

Copper ore was shipped across the world from South America. To extract the copper three times more coal was needed. Copper was used to protect the wood on ships and expensive jewellry. All the finds have to remian on site as they have ingested toxic materials. Amazing history.

Copyright Adrian Scott North London Counsellor Blog 2023
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Disclaimer: This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only.
This article is designed to provoke argument and critique

Bon Scott wild man and once lead singer of the Australian rock n roll band AC/DC.
Nearly killing himself on a motorcycle, spending a year in prison, furthering his learning on the drums.
But it was his powerful voice that was his talent. Which got him noticed: and he entered the extreme rock n roll life style. Which was eventually his demise.

It seems boredom was his enemy. A lot of the guys I meet have the same issue. Boredom is to be blotted out with sex, drink, drugs, extreme sports. Take your pick.
A Boredom that drives a life is formed early in life – usually pre verbal and tricky to reach back to.

The attachment is experienced as insecure and disconnected. An emptiness is created in the soul which is carried and effective all of life. So boredom can be a way of saying emptiness. An emptiness so full of fear and dread that it needs courage to face and make friends with. This is the work.

Copyright Adrian Scott North London Counsellor Blog 2023
All rights reserved
Disclaimer: This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only.
This article is designed to provoke argument and critique

So a traumatised Orca whale called Gladis is teaching her family to attack boats off the coast of Gibraltar.
Apparently she has had a bad experience with a boat, and is practicing holing boats/damaging the rudder with her family so that they in turn can protect themselves from the trauma boats.

Likewise humans. Parents carry their own trauma onto their children irrespective of its appropriateness. In other words it doesn’t matter what the trauma is: the parent will try to protect their own children from their own parent trauma. Some call this transference.

Trauma is necessary of human experience & development. We are all traumatised. It is our nature. We are set up for it. The only trauma we can work on is how we are taught to react to trauma. In a more sober moment Gladis might conclude that her trauma with a boat was a one off: no need to react by expecting the whole family to have their own boat trauma.

So animals pass on trauma to their own children. It seems it is the children’s responsibility to find out whether their parents trauma reaction is suitable to their own lives.

Copyright Adrian Scott North London Counsellor Blog 2023
All rights reserved Disclaimer:
This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only.
This article is designed to provoke argument and critique

Catherine Leroy – the journalist you’ve never heard of. Jumping out of planes, with US troops in Vietnam she was famous for getting right in there with her photos. She was born in the suburbs of Paris on a night of heavy bombing by the Allied Forces during World War II.

Her photography shots show the expressions of war on soldiers’ faces. Captured by the North Vietnamese, she talked her way out of captivity, and then persuaded them to let her photograph them. She photographed Woodstock, and joined the Vietnam Veterans. She documented the fall of Saigon.

In 1975 she documented the Civil War in Lebanon. Then the Troubles in Northern Ireland. Then back to Vietnam to record how the country was recovering. Ran a vintage clothing store in Los Angeles.

Like all humans running to extreme danger – what are they running from?

Copyright Adrian Scott North London Counsellor Blog 2023
All rights reserved Disclaimer:
This weblog is the view of the writer and for general information only.
This article is designed to provoke argument and critique