11. A Sycamore Tree

A Sycamore Tree

Random acts of violence frighten and unerve us. We witness something – an act, a behaviour, which makes no sense. So we get a double fear, the act, and the inability to make sense or put the act into order.
But it is rarely so. Whatever we do – has a history, a past of collected energy that bursts out onto the present. At base deep in our psyche we nurse hurts. Hurts that are so painful that they cannot be looked at. These hurts collect energy which most of the time we cannot control. When triggered or set off the energy bursts out – looking for an escape or diffusion onto a random act or behaviour.

We can feel hurt by someone and lash out angrily at them. We can see that the hurt and the anger have some connection. We might not understand it: others will disagree, or condemn us. But we can make a link.

It is the taboo hurts where we have screwed up: but cannot admit it to ourselves & never to others. These hidden hurts are stored up with hot energy inside us. When we experience an injustice or crisis we have this excess energy  to burn. We look for a related/unrelated object to hurt with our stored up hurt energy. Out comes the violent act ….

Men are more susceptible to this behaviour. With a masculine physicality – and not taught or regarded emotionally there is no education for identifying or feeling hurt. They are not taught to feel vulnerable, angry, & upset. They are unable to let off this energy bit by bit: so when they are triggered it comes out untreated & untamed.

Men can look at their hurt energy in a calm reflective way: to cool down by attaching themelves to hurt feelings. But they have to be encouraged, and offered safe places to do so. Not yet  – but soon……..??

Copyright Adrian Scott North London Counsellor Blog 2023
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